*Brown noser Jane* - Janes Stall

Brown noser Jane

So, I thought I knew the direction my future was going in but that quickly went out the window, the moment I started to imagine Matt, trying to buy stock for his new business, with out little old bossy me!!!

——0Oo——

I had managed to pass my A level art in one year, by staying on at sixth form, and decided to try and put it to good use by becoming a graphic designer.

The best way in was to do a two year YTS scheme. The competition was high for placements.

My interview was in Regent Street there were about 70 of us, I can remember sitting next to this boy that was doodling on a pad and he was absolutely amazing.

I nearly upped and left there and then, thinking god I can’t draw anything like as good as him?

All that stopped me was that I would have had to walk across the room with a slippery floor in front of everyone, I was sooooooo nervous.

A lady came in with a pile of books and as she walked across the room, she slipped and dropped all the books!

I got up to help her, along with two other girls, because we could all see her bright red knickers, she told us 3 to write our names on a piece of paper at reception as she had a placement for us straight away!!!!

She told us we were going to the biggest graphic design agency in London, informing us that the trip-up was a trick to see who was a team player as this boss only wanted students that showed initiative and were quick thinkers.

Looking back, I think she actually meant to just drop the books not go arse over tit!

I remember one of the girls saying, as we filled out our names at reception, if it was a plan to fall over, why hadn’t she worn trousers and the older lady on reception said, “Because she is a tart !”

I remember thinking don’t laugh, don’t laugh (even though this was a comment my mum would have made for sure!) …… just don’t laugh in case its another trick to see who was a gossip as well as brown nose!

So, my new placement was in Victoria, he had 15 apprentices but we found out he only normally took on 5 at the end of the two year apprenticeship!

This made for a really competitive atmosphere, there was back stabbing, bitchiness, squealing and even sabotage and that was just in the staff room let alone in the actual studios!

God did he get his money’s worth out of all of us though, we were basically couriers, cleaners, even nannies so that the artwork was finished by the deadline. In fact I felt like Manuel out of Fawlty Towers most of the time lol

Sometimes, I would be delivering art work all day, which stressed my dad out a lot more than it did me, I actually bloody loved it as I learned my way around London like the back of my hand.

I would make it my mission to be the quickest back on every job in the hope that I could get back and work along side one of the artist.

Sadly though, the more I delivered the more he sent me out on errands!

One day my dad called me and asked me if I had learnt anything today and why did I sound so out of breath ???

Because, I was in fact, cleaning the bosses car!

My dad was fuming, he was all for me starting from the bottom but no body had any time to teach me anything not one single thing so he told me, in no uncertain terms, to go inside pack up my stuff and meet him at the YTS office in Regent Street.

God only knows what he would have done, had I of told him, I had actually come in early picked up everyones breakfast orders from various sandwich bars and had had buttered toast launched at my head because I had ordered the wrong bread, delivered 2 pieces of work, picked up dry cleaning and cleaned the bosses golf shoes!

They moved me to a smaller firm in Covent Garden down an alley off of Neal Street. I worked in the basement, it was opposite a recording studio and a homeless shelter.

I absolutely loved it. I got to see loads of famous artist they would park the stretch limos at the end of the alley and walk in the back doors of the recording studio.

Once, I walked down the alley with Bros at the height of their fame, I was just so tempted to jump into the limo at the end of the alley and wait for the headlines.. ‘‘Who is that girl!”

Then at the other end of the alley the homeless used to wait for the shelter to open.

I remember there was this homeless man that I used to give my packed lunch to everyday (sorry mum!)

One day, he grabbed hold of my hand and said,” Im sorry love and I really don’t want to be ungrateful but can I have either marmite or peanut-butter not both together it gives me indigestion?” ??? I told him I would tell my mum as she made my packed lunch, his reply,”If you could put in a word that would be much appreciated”

TO BE CONTINUED ………..

This Weeks News

Rae Hume and her friend Harley Wells have taken on the challenge to climb the three peaks in just 24hrs for the M I N D charity.

Rae had some huge blisters, from training, before she even left so she is really worried this might stop her completing the challenge and Harley has bad knees that pop out! But both the girls are tough and determined to give it their best shot.