What makes some of the most beautiful girls I’ve met over the years, come into the unit, so full of self-hate? Whilst others are quite happy, to come out of the changing room, braless, crammed into a dress that’s 4 sizes too small, totally brimming with this refreshing confidence, all ready to conquer, not only the Casino but anyone or anything that might get in their way?
Clear as day, I remember going to a school disco, aged 9 wearing a black skirt that had a little split at the side. I had tried it on at least 5000 times, practised dancing, perfecting how to highlight the split, maximising my coolness.
See Ya Laters Confidence
All the stupid boys mimicked my dancing, my supposed best friend said my skirt looked ugly with a split in it, did I care, did I heck! I had seen Blondie on Top Of The Pops in the exact same skirt! I loved that skirt as much as I loved my family lol. That skirt gave me confidence and made me feel beautiful.
And that confidence obviously shone through as they all had one on at the next disco! But sadly, that night, I left the year 4 disco doubting not only my pencil skirt but more importantly, doubting myself!
At that age it’s all about fitting in and not standing out, it’s a damn sight easier and a lot safer!
Knocking or Boosting
As with everything in life, it’s hard to find a healthy balance of confidence and attitude.
We all need a little bit of both sprinkled on our breakfast just maybe not as bigger helping as some of them deluded X Factor auditionees have quite clearly received lol. There’s such a fine line between knocking or boosting someone’s confidence. We all have such different styles and tastes, after all, that’s what makes us all individuals.
Honesty has to be the best policy. How, where and when you deliver it obviously can continue, start or end any relationship!
It helps ,when your undecided on something, to get a second opinion from someone you trust . As Ive gotten older, I have learnt to really value the friends and family who’s opinions matter , somehow you know they are coming from a good place when they tell you, “Seriously you look like death, your roots need doing ,your being spoilt , you do not need another pair of shoes and your house smells of dog!” all of which I have been told by some of my nearest and dearest lol !
Sometimes , yes we need a little boost from our superficial friends – you know the ones that top us up with fluffy comments ,”I love your hair , you look so well” blar,blar,blar…… and I think, when we are feeling confident ,nobodies opinion will change our mind . Its when we are unsure , when there’s a little voice questioning , thats when you need your honest mates and for me my mum and Matt he’s so blooming honest ,I need a full set of armour on ready for it !
Dumbing Yourself Down
Around the same time as the skirt incident, outside of school, I was swimming for the Blacklion swimming club. They had moved me up a group so I was swimming with the older girls, I was so excited right up until they all took the mickey out of just about everything from my swimsuit, down to my goggles and my kit bag as I didn’t have the ‘official’ club kit.
My dad, bless him, tried to convince me it was because I had beaten all their time trials which, looking back, was probably true! I was just so desperate to fit in with them that I actually swam slower, anything to not draw attention to myself! So, basically, between the girls at school and swim club, my confidence was having a giant wibble wobble!
TO BE CONTINUED…………….